No Longer Lonely Boy in the Laboratory
by SmurfyFriend
Summary: Cecil does the show as usual, but the way the show ends is not so usual. Fluff, fluff and more fluff. not spoilers but sorta relates to Episode 84.
**HELLO!**

 **I just finished the most recent episode and I couldn't help myself, AAGH these adorable little shits are going to be the death of me!**

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Darkness. Immeasurable darkness. Light. Immeasurable, blinding light. Hands. Everywhere. Feet. Everywhere. Everywhere. _EVERY_ where. Oh God, blinding light, incapacitating darkness. Hands and feet, everywhere. There is no escaping. Oreos.

This has been a word from our sponsor. Oreos! Hell's favorite cookie.

And now, Listeners, it's time again for everyone's presumably favorite section, "Hey, Cecil!"

Ah-hmm…. Alright, here's one. "Hey, Cecil! My television is turning on in the middle of the night, and it's waking me and my wife up. I've tried moving the television from the bedroom, instead putting it in the guest room, but somehow it still ends up back in the bedroom. We've even tried unplugging the thing, but somehow at 1:34 precisely, my wife and I are awakened to the sounds of Cake Wars. Additionally, when we tried putting the television in our storage unit downtown, the very same night, at 1:34 precisely, we wake up to the sounds of Cake Wars. My question for you is this: can you recommend a good lock for a storage unit?" signed, Sleepless in South Night Vale. Well, Sleepless, I too have had troubles with waking up to the sounds of Cake Wars. Not from a bedroom television, but the living room one has been particularly vocal lately. Perhaps this is the Night Vale City Council's way of maybe, oh, I don't know, dropping hints? At a birthday, or something? I don't know. In the meantime, posted to our Facebook page we have a list of municipally approved locks for your storage unit, Sleepless.

 _ **Sluuurp**_ … excuse me… very good coffee today, Intern Tyler. Intern Tyler? Oh. Oh, Tyler… It seems that when making the coffee today, Intern Tyler channeled _too much_ hate and rage filled thoughts, and he literally imploded. Oh, dear…. Ah… To the family and friends of Intern Tyler, we are sorry for your loss… he made really, really good coffee. To die for, as it turns out. He will be missed.

ANYways, where were we again? Ah, right! This next one reads, "Heya Cecil! So, I have this family member. My brother in law-" and listeners, it looks like this has been erased and rewritten several times "-really, really doesn't like me. I'm not sure what I did, but every time we get together with our family, fights happen. It's really starting to get to my step-daughter, and I think in the long term it might even start to affect her health. I try my best to do right by her. And I try my best to do right by him. What am I doing wrong, Cecil?" Signed, Arrows in Desert Creek. _**Sigh**_ …. Well, Steve Carlsb- Arrows… if you think that your fighting with your brother in law is… is hurting your step-daughter… I suppose, there would be no choice. You must leave them. _**Sigh.**_ No, don't do that. They're obviously too attached to you now and it'd just hurt her more. Arrows… Despite the fact that you sound like a vile conspiracy theorist oh my gods Steve just shut up you ruined thanksgiving Steve Carls- no. _**Hm**_. I will bite my tongue. Arrows, I will tell you now that while you are… _**COUGH…**_ _probably_ despicable conspiracy theorist that hallucinates and has weird arms, _maybe_ … I also know that your brother-in-law loves your step-daughter… very, very much… and if you think that your fighting may be causing her pain… I… think he will understand.

Ah, anyways, let's do one more. _**Knock Knock Knock**_. Ah!- um, I'm sorry listeners, it seems like we have a visitor. Despite the "Quiet Please! On Air!" sign being lighted. Well, I am sure that if it were not important, Intern Kalos would be- what? Oh for- This is getting out of hand today. Listeners, it seems that Intern Kalos has died, going through the mail today for our broadcast. And while I commend him for the courage to go through the mail for the sake of quality radio, he really should've remembered his flame-retardant gloves and face mask. _**Sigh…**_ to the family and friends of Intern Kalos… etcetera, etcetera.

 _ **Knock knock knock knock.**_ Oh! Right! I forgot! Ah, come in, I guess? Oh! Oh, Listeners, it's my boyfriend Carlos! Carlos, say hi to the listeners.

Hi to the listeners! Heh.

Haha, well, that is scientifically accurate. What brings you here while I'm on air that couldn't be said in a text message?

Oh, nothing, sweetie. I just wanted to drop in and say hello. So, ah, hello!

Hello, my perfectly imperfect Carlos. I'm sorry, honey, do you mind if I…?

Oh! Of course not, Ceec. Just pretend like I'm not even here!

Thank you, sweet Carlos…. _**A-hmm,**_ alright, anyways, the letter reads, "Hi, Cecil. I have to say, I'm still a fairly new fan to your show. I haven't been around as much, or at least as much as I'd like to have been. I recently spent a long time away, but I realize now that where I am now is the only place I'd like to be, and the only person I'd like to be with is the person I'm with, right now. Forever. Time may be strange in Night Vale, but I'd like to think that….that time would have no precedence over our state of togetherness… and so, my question for you, Cecil with the honey voice, is would you…" What the…" Would you please turn to your left?" signed, No Longer Lonely Boy in the Laboratory. Carlos, what—ah! L-Listeners, I-! For the first time in my life, I am left without words. I did as the letter asked, turning my chair to the left… a-and Carlos… h-he is holding my hand, bent down on one knee. He's smiling that perfect smile, teeth like a military cemetery… and… oh my god, Listeners. He is holding a ring. A-and it's—Oh my gods, Listeners, it's beautiful. I—I-! L-Listeners, here, go to the weather.

 _ ***WEATHE-**_

Oh my god listeners I'm sorry to cut the weather so short, but I had to tell you! Carlos and I… are engaged! Not engaged to destroy eachother in the void, as the term usually means. But engaged in the outsider definition as we're going to be married! Soon, I will have the honor and privilege of calling this man, this perfectly imperfect man, my _husband_. I mean sure, we already live together. We handle finances together, share our daily lives together, pay tribute to the bloodstone circles together… but… My Scientist _husband_ … that has a really… _neat_ ring to it.

Listeners, I know it is _terribly_ unprofessional to cut a show short, but, heh, well, I have a place I'd… really, really like to be right now. With my _fiancé,_ celebrating our engagement at White Sands. Perhaps… even starting to discuss things like… catering, and flowers, and demon sacrifices… You know, normal wedding planning things.

Stay tuned next for ten minutes of silence, followed by ten minutes of the sounds of a man eating pork rinds and crunching uncomfortably loudly, followed by ten minutes of silence, and so on and so forth.

 _Good night_ , Night Vale.

 _Good night._

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 **I am very VERY tempted to write a really angsty follow up.**


End file.
